Julianne (jewelianne) wrote,

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This week has been pretty terrible in a lot of ways. 

One of my oldest friends passed away. It was very unexpected and very tragic. And if though he and I weren't the closest friends, the dynamic of our group is changed forever. We will all miss him. But he is with Mahtma Ghandi now. (I promise, it makes sense.)

Although this is a damn hard way to learn anything, there is one kind of good thing that came as a result of all of this (though it certainly wasn't in anyway worth the price, because nothing ever could be.) And that is that i think the rest of us appreciate our friendships more; we realize how much we love each other, and how lucky we are to know one another. At least, I know that I do. And I am hoping that we can work out some of the other problems that we have with some of our other friends. I'm not going to go in depth into any of this, because I am Switzerland. And nobody is probably likely to read it anyway. But I guess that one of my strengths as a person (and faults, at times) is that I generally value my relationships with people and the love that I feel for them more than I do being right, and sometimes even more than dignity. I am working on the latter part, but you know what I mean if you have seen how my romantic relationships tend to end. Anyway, I know it's a cliche, but I wish we could all just get along. But I also know that there are differences in personality types and things like that, and one of my other strength/weaknesses is that I can generally see various sides of the situation. Even if I side with one person over the other, I can see why the person I don't agree with thinks that they are right, too. (Whew! Did that make sense?)

I miss LJ. It makes me feel sort of sad and nostalgic to read all the really old entries, but I like how it is so much more personal and interesting than something like Facebook. I like reading people's actual words and thoughts and feelings, and not following a bunch of links and pretending that "liking" human rights or something means that I'm doing something. I am pretty much obsessed with FB, but I think that other mediums have a lot to offer as well. But of course it is all trends, and not everyone is a writer.

In other news, today was quite lovely. I went to lunch  with Cassie (for the first time since Macomb, I think?!) And I met her fiance. He is really nice, and really cool. And driving to Lathrup Village on the freeway was so easy, I think I might almost be over my freeway phobia. it was great to talk again, even though we mostly just talked about work and school and didn't discuss anything philosophical. But I'm sure we will see each other again soon.

I took 12 mile home, not because I was scared, but because I like to drive that way some time. The West Side is so much prettier, with all the fancy street lights and little specialty shops. Even Twelve Mile was kind of pretty, with all the snow on the trees and stuff. It was quite beautiful, especially since I was listening to Simon & Garfunkel the whole way. I was full of such joy and wonder about the beauty of life, and I was so glad because I haven't been able to feel that way in so long. Especially with my friend dying recently, and even before that. I feel so strangled and trapped all the time. I don't mean that I'm unhappy, but you can definitely outgrow the spot you are in, and start to choke and falter, if you know what I mean.

Anyway I am generally happy with life. I am even kind of glad that I am single. I want to meet someone, because love is the most wonderful thing, but I am not in a hurry. (Despite what my mother implies.) I have so many plans, and I feel like I have grown so much as a person lately...and I don't really want to be tied down. I know everyone always says that when you meet the right person, it won't tie you down. You will do things together. But how many perfect relationships are there really? And i know that I am the type of person, however much I wish I wasn't, that makes my relationships central to my being. Especially romantic relationships. So its not likely that I would accomplish as much in a relationship, even if I met a great guy. .... I'm not saying I don't want to be in one at all, I'm just not going to worry about it for the time being.

There is so much more to write about, but I have an online quiz today on 5 chapters of my text for reference class, and it is due today by midnight. (I thought I had more time, so I haven't read most of it...) I also have a job interview at SCS tomorrow, which I am not overly excited about or ready for. And there's a superbowl party at Elona's, but I'm not sure I'll make it because I havent' slept in days and I have to finish my homework first. I was worried about my 4.0, but for Reference at least, I have 14 out of 13 possible points so far....Still kind of worried about Scout's class though...

Anyway, i'll bid you adieu.

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